Do single mothers deserve the stick?

 I am a single mother, I have been all my parenting life. Ten years of getting children up, feeding them, dressing them, loving them, being at their beck and call. Is it easy? No! Its exhausting…well it is if you constantly trying to fit everything into the day that they need. Homework, school runs, beavers, sports clubs, doctors/dentist/opticians and the various other health appointments, parent’s evenings and school stuff. That’s before you’ve even started on the cooking and cleaning…. Let alone breathing for a second to simply ask, ‘Did you have a good day?’ and offering a hug or two. I do it all….alone.

Mummy and Nathan #firstlove

 I have found myself on the receiving end of a fair amount of stick this year, to the point that it has reduced me to tears and stressed me out that much, I felt worthless. This has all come from one place but has been constant for some time and I have honesty felt like I am walking on eggshells. I sat back and thought to myself, in the ten years I have been a parent, I have spent 6 nights away from Nathan, 4 of those was when I was in hospital having Jack. Only 1 night spent away from Jack in his 6 years, I am there 24/7 for these boys and I love them with all my heart. How do we end up with so much stick?

 I am also currently a student at university, to try and make a career for myself and offer stability to the boys as they get older and will need more expensive items. It’s not easy, I have often completed assignments in the middle of the night, instead of sleeping knowing there is no chance of a lie in once morning comes, as those little legs are going to be up and running around. Yet I finished my first year June just gone, to be honest I flew through it. I have the brains, just not always the time.

 So I would really like to encourage people to end the stigma of the single mother, after all the majority are not single by choice. Contrary to popular opinion, tax credits for a child are not a lot either. About £50 a week per child, calculating a child's expenses, this isn't a lot to cover to costs of everything they need and provide opportunities for them. Financially, it can be overwhelming.

Unfortunately some women do end up as single parents, probably a lot more than ever before.  Some times that’s just the way life works out. So next time you see someone who may like me, be battling alone to do their very best, avoid putting them down but maybe offer a brew. That may be the only adult conversation that person gets that day and it’ll make the world of difference.

One frustrated mummy. xx